What's in it for me?

When you work with your horse, what's in it for them?

While you think about that, let me tell you this story. Seemingly not horse related, yet very insightful.

Last night my husband came home grumpy. He came inside, saw me at my computer, in the middle of the dinner table, trying to sell items on eBay. Dinner was nowhere in sight. Peace, quiet and tranquility were missing. His grumpiness got worse. Fair enough.

I got dinner on the table, and we got chatting. "There's all this outstanding paperwork to do, and you're selling items on eBay?", came his gripe. Yeah, ok. Fair enough. He had a point.

Immediately after dinner, I retreived the said outstanding paperwork, and started processing it. Husband gave me a nod of acknowledgement, and sat down opposite, doing his bit of the outstanding paperwork.

He was no longer "grumpy", but he wasn't relaxed either. It's like he was stressed. Here I was, doing exactly what he had asked me to do, and he was stressing. Biting his finger nails and all. I loved doing the work he asked for, but I couldn't stand his attitude. It drove me nuts. Why couldn't he relax? Why couldn't he look up every now and then and say a nice word or two?

The harder I seemed to work, the more he seemed to stress. It was getting rediculous! Where is my reward? All I want him to do is to relax! I am doing exactly what he asked, he should be happy. Well, if he isn't going to be happy and relaxed then I will just dig my heels in and stop. What's the point? There is grumpiness if you don't do anything, and stress if you do.

That's exactly how a horse feels. Exactly. I am certain of it. The horse wants to do something for you, and when they do it, they need you to relax, as acknowledgement. You relaxing, is the horse's reward.