Two steps back

I wasn't happy with my or Princess' jumping during our recent cross country lesson. So, today is the time to practice.

I do a normal dressage warmup, then eye the jumps. I've lost my confidence. I go over the cross rail a couple of times. It doesn't feel right. It feels like something has fallen apart, and needs to be put back together again. But what?

I think the horse is jumping more or less the same as ever. But to me the whole exercise seems all over the place. The approach is rushed, the jump is flat, the landing is hard, and the travel lacks bounce.

I focus on my position and do the barrells. Awful. I am trying to sit up and look up more than ever, and I just seem to catch myself looking down on landing all the time!

I quit while I'm ahead.